00:00:00,133 --> 00:00:04,666
Gratitude saved my life more times
than I could recount.

00:00:04,666 --> 00:00:08,633
And I say that in the terms
of no matter what

00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:12,233
trial or tribulation
I have ever gone through.

00:00:12,633 --> 00:00:15,633
Gratitude has always shown light on.

00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:18,400
If you believe
we can change the narrative,

00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:20,633
if you believe
we can change our communities.

00:00:20,633 --> 00:00:23,966
If you believe we can change the outcome,
then we can change the world.

00:00:24,700 --> 00:00:26,266
I'm Rob Richardson.

00:00:26,266 --> 00:00:28,866
Welcome to disruption. Now.

00:00:28,866 --> 00:00:30,100
Welcome to disruption now.

00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:32,200
I'm your host and moderator
Rob Richardson.

00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,733
With me is Rachell DesRochers.

00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:36,300
And she's an amazing disruptor.

00:00:36,300 --> 00:00:39,300
She is really disrupting
how we need to think about

00:00:39,633 --> 00:00:43,500
being, being thankful for what we have
in the Gratitude Collective.

00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:47,200
She's really launched that as her
essential purpose to change the way,

00:00:48,066 --> 00:00:50,966
women,
see themselves to be able to create power.

00:00:50,966 --> 00:00:51,600
That's one thing.

00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:56,400
Also, she does a lot in the in the space
when it comes to food and helping,

00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:57,600
helping others

00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:01,100
use the power of food and collectively
sourcing things here in Cincinnati.

00:01:01,433 --> 00:01:04,500
I think she does many other things, events
all across Cincinnati.

00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:07,566
And I think now it's expanding
to Cleveland by some other markets.

00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:09,466
There's all types of amazing things.

00:01:09,466 --> 00:01:11,500
And, I she does all that.

00:01:11,500 --> 00:01:14,566
She's also a mom, serial entrepreneur,
many other things.

00:01:14,566 --> 00:01:17,666
So she definitely fits the definition
of a disruptor.

00:01:17,700 --> 00:01:18,933
Rachell, welcome to the show.

00:01:18,933 --> 00:01:21,933
I'm so excited to be here. Hi, Rob.

00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:23,666
Good to have you. Good to have you.

00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:25,633
So, I'm excited about this conversation.

00:01:25,633 --> 00:01:31,100
The follow up on, the mini conversations
we've had and, it's it's exciting for

00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:33,400
really to be able to develop,

00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:37,100
the relationship with you and just see
the amazing work you're able to do here

00:01:37,100 --> 00:01:40,833
and, and people all across
now, the Midwest and in the world, I'm

00:01:40,833 --> 00:01:43,033
sure, are seeing the great work
that you're doing.

00:01:43,033 --> 00:01:45,300
So, first of all,
you know me. I'm going to Italy.

00:01:45,300 --> 00:01:47,666
I believe I'm giving a keynote over there.

00:01:47,666 --> 00:01:49,800
Let's go, let's go. Thursday.

00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,800
Yeah, I might go on the plane with you
because I like you.

00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:55,566
I do all right if I have to. Now.

00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:00,033
It's good

00:02:00,033 --> 00:02:03,600
I live, yes, I work,
I, yeah, serial entrepreneur.

00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,866
I've been building businesses
here in the region since 2010.

00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,400
I started it all with the cookie company
Grateful Grahams,

00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,500
and we distributed
graham crackers across the country.

00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,433
We sold in,

00:02:15,433 --> 00:02:18,433
Whole Foods and Kroger and,

00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:20,933
the whole premise of that

00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:24,033
was to create a gratitude company
that we made it

00:02:24,033 --> 00:02:26,566
and we just talked about it
through a cookie. Right.

00:02:26,566 --> 00:02:30,200
And it's like versus being, a cookie
company that talked about gratitude.

00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,133
We were a gratitude company
that made a cookie.

00:02:32,133 --> 00:02:34,033
So I've always led with that.

00:02:34,033 --> 00:02:35,966
Let's talk about that
because you got to jump into it.

00:02:35,966 --> 00:02:39,800
Let me just say this a little bit because
I want to ask the question around that.

00:02:40,033 --> 00:02:40,666
Yeah.

00:02:40,666 --> 00:02:44,333
You, the the grateful Grahams,
your company's

00:02:44,333 --> 00:02:45,733
call it the Gratitude Collective.

00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,333
That's the overall branch.

00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:50,400
What makes gratitude
so central to everything you do?

00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,066
And and why is that so important to you?

00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,833
Gratitude saved my life

00:02:55,833 --> 00:02:58,566
more times than I could recount.

00:02:58,566 --> 00:03:03,866
And I say that in the terms
of no matter what trial or tribulation

00:03:04,066 --> 00:03:07,100
I have ever gone through, gratitude

00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:10,100
has always shown light on that

00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:13,933
and shown me the whole picture versus
the the picture

00:03:13,933 --> 00:03:17,433
that our brain sometimes wants to give us,
which is just like the hardship.

00:03:18,300 --> 00:03:20,300
And so,

00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:21,433
I was taught gratitude.

00:03:21,433 --> 00:03:22,166
I was a kid.

00:03:22,166 --> 00:03:24,966
I mean, I remember that
first lesson coming from my dad.

00:03:24,966 --> 00:03:27,966
I was the girl that got picked on in
grade school.

00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:32,200
And, you know, my dad just was like,
they don't love themselves.

00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:35,400
Like, you got to love who you are
and like your unique gifts.

00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:38,233
And, like, I think I was like, seven,

00:03:38,233 --> 00:03:41,033
like, oh, okay, cool, dad, let's do this.

00:03:41,033 --> 00:03:46,966
But that instilled this idea that there's
always good in the world and for whatever

00:03:46,966 --> 00:03:52,100
reason, my soul, my heart, my head,
just like, soaked it up like a sponge.

00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:55,100
Like I remember
getting in trouble in high school,

00:03:55,133 --> 00:03:58,200
because I would pass,
like, gratitude journals around.

00:03:59,466 --> 00:04:00,833
All right.

00:04:00,833 --> 00:04:03,566
You know, like, so it's just, you know,
I tell people, like,

00:04:03,566 --> 00:04:06,266
at this point in my life, like,
it is who I am.

00:04:06,266 --> 00:04:08,833
It is for most,

00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:11,000
core part of what I believe in.

00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,766
I also think that

00:04:12,766 --> 00:04:16,966
what I love about gratitude
is that it's free and it's accessible.

00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:18,666
It doesn't matter what you believe.

00:04:18,666 --> 00:04:21,300
Gratitude is like a uniter, right?

00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:25,300
I always talk about, like, what I love
about working in food is that no matter

00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:28,533
what country you go, like, breaking
bread's always sacred, right?

00:04:28,533 --> 00:04:30,000
Like it's universal.

00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:30,600
It is.

00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:33,600
And so I feel like gratitude
is that universal tool.

00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:37,166
Buddha said it's like
one of the highest forms of enlightenment.

00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:37,700
Right.

00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:40,733
And so we have spiritual teachers
who we can look back

00:04:40,733 --> 00:04:44,433
and reflect on them
constantly teaching us that,

00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:49,466
the way that our community like, will
reflect is like, oh, well, you know,

00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:52,333
I grew up and it was like beat down
our throats of, like you,

00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:55,333
you should be grateful
you got to eat all those green beans like,

00:04:55,366 --> 00:04:58,366
you know,
and and that's not what gratitude does.

00:04:58,533 --> 00:05:01,200
Energetically.
That's not what gratitude does.

00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,933
Emotionally.
That's not what gratitude does.

00:05:02,933 --> 00:05:05,000
The way that I teach it is is so right.

00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,600
So as you talk about teaching the love,

00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:10,433
just go down this
because you talk about gratitude.

00:05:10,433 --> 00:05:13,500
And I think I want to just harp on
a point, you said, and finish your point.

00:05:13,633 --> 00:05:15,466
Yeah.

00:05:15,466 --> 00:05:20,700
Because people it's I think some people
have a hard time in grasping gratitude.

00:05:20,833 --> 00:05:24,000
I mean, how you talked about it
is you grasp it at your hardest times.

00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,066
If I heard you correctly.

00:05:25,066 --> 00:05:28,000
Yes. Like, how have you done that?

00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:31,933
Then how do you go about like making this
where it's become your identity?

00:05:31,933 --> 00:05:35,100
Like, because I, I do think it's,
it's it's great that you have.

00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:37,600
But I think many others have struggled
to do that and you teach it.

00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,833
So getting to that point like, yeah, I'm
talking about a real moment

00:05:40,833 --> 00:05:45,166
because like there is,
there is lots to be grateful for always.

00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:48,433
There's also, as you said,
trials and tribulations.

00:05:48,433 --> 00:05:51,833
I want to really talk about well,
my question is like,

00:05:51,833 --> 00:05:55,066
when's the last time that you acknowledged
good clean drinking water.

00:05:56,533 --> 00:05:59,533
Oh like

00:05:59,566 --> 00:06:01,966
didn't we just hear like
is this Flint Michigan

00:06:01,966 --> 00:06:03,800
still like
they're still struggling. Right.

00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,733
And so like

00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:07,433
the thing that is, is that people think

00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:10,766
it's something out there in reality
is it's like as simple as the fact

00:06:10,766 --> 00:06:14,533
that like I'm sitting in my home right now
and it has heat on,

00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,500
you know, how fast we move through life.

00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:20,100
We don't even acknowledge the fact

00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:23,100
that, like, we have water
or we have a fridge full of food

00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:26,133
or that we have heat,
or that I have gas in my car,

00:06:26,233 --> 00:06:30,033
like we're always thinking
that it has to be this bigger, next

00:06:30,033 --> 00:06:34,166
best thing, and we blow through the true

00:06:34,166 --> 00:06:39,666
the pieces that like make our day to day
offerings happen.

00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:42,766
Right? Right. And so gratitude.

00:06:42,766 --> 00:06:45,900
When I talk and teach it is
there's this idea that like

00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:49,166
hardship is part of like the

00:06:49,166 --> 00:06:53,000
human experience and like there's
not anything wrong with that.

00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:56,666
It's what what we choose to do
with that experience.

00:06:56,700 --> 00:07:01,133
And gratitude just kind of says,
oh, I'm sorry you're having a bad day.

00:07:01,666 --> 00:07:03,566
Like I see you all.

00:07:03,566 --> 00:07:06,933
Let me just remind you
that, like, you're warm, right now.

00:07:07,166 --> 00:07:12,000
Let me remind you that somebody held
the door open for you this morning.

00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,700
You know,
somebody brought you a breakfast sandwich.

00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:17,700
Like, it's not understanding that.

00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:20,700
It's not just this. It's both and.

00:07:20,733 --> 00:07:21,866
Right.

00:07:21,866 --> 00:07:25,933
Always the and
and we want to stop at this experience

00:07:25,933 --> 00:07:28,933
and not allow the and to unfold and like,

00:07:29,766 --> 00:07:31,200
oh my God, I'm here for the.

00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,600
And I am here for the living.

00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,400
I am here for that experience.

00:07:36,266 --> 00:07:38,166
And also I think

00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:42,000
now I've been through some tough stuff.

00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:42,966
Right.

00:07:42,966 --> 00:07:49,933
And I am happier than I even knew
was humanly possible.

00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,500
Like, I and I.

00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:53,700
And it's because of that.

00:07:53,700 --> 00:07:58,133
It's because every single day I am
looking around and acknowledging the fact

00:07:58,133 --> 00:08:01,200
that, you know, I have a Christmas tree up

00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:04,200
and my kids were part of that, or,

00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:06,300
look at that's of means so much.

00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:09,300
I have shoes on my feet right now, only,

00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:14,100
I could cry over the fact that, like,
I'm alive right now, here today,

00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:18,700
in this moment, having this experience
like that is so profoundly beautiful.

00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:23,233
But that's because Gratitude
Console reminded me, like, I'm here

00:08:23,233 --> 00:08:26,700
and I'm alive
and I get to have this experience, right?

00:08:27,133 --> 00:08:29,166
Versus like,
oh, sure, I'll do it, whatever.

00:08:29,166 --> 00:08:29,866
On to the next thing.

00:08:29,866 --> 00:08:32,800
But and part of that is in
entrepreneurship, that's our life too.

00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:33,733
That's definitely the life.

00:08:34,833 --> 00:08:38,333
But it can also be bullshit, right?

00:08:38,333 --> 00:08:41,566
Like no one's too busy to acknowledge
the good.

00:08:42,766 --> 00:08:44,333
Great. But how do you make yourself.

00:08:44,333 --> 00:08:45,800
I guess my question is this. It's.

00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:47,600
I don't disagree,

00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:51,000
but you've probably struggled with it
at some point in your life

00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:54,433
where you were not as happy
or you're in a state.

00:08:55,333 --> 00:08:58,300
What I, what I'm curious about
is because I'm sure there's people

00:08:58,300 --> 00:09:00,266
that are listening that are there.

00:09:00,266 --> 00:09:00,633
Yeah.

00:09:00,633 --> 00:09:05,466
How does one move themself
to be able to see and reflect in a way

00:09:05,466 --> 00:09:08,733
where gratitude becomes
your identity versus

00:09:08,733 --> 00:09:11,733
focusing on your current suffering,
your circumstance?

00:09:12,100 --> 00:09:13,866
Because that is that can't be hard.

00:09:13,866 --> 00:09:15,900
Well, it it

00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:18,166
it doesn't have to be hard. Okay.

00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:21,166
I think that the human egoic brain

00:09:21,366 --> 00:09:24,366
doesn't
believe that it could be as this simple.

00:09:24,366 --> 00:09:27,466
And so the simplicity is profound

00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:30,466
in the practice of gratitude,
in my opinion.

00:09:30,466 --> 00:09:34,733
Because that means that in the morning
before you start your day,

00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:37,566
or at the end of the day
before you go to bed,

00:09:37,566 --> 00:09:42,000
you are literally stopping
or starting in that reflective space.

00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:44,066
That means that you're literally asking

00:09:44,066 --> 00:09:46,100
yourself the question,
what am I grateful for?

00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:50,400
And you are listing out 3 to 5 things
I tell everybody.

00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,733
If you are a notes app person, cool.

00:09:52,733 --> 00:09:53,800
Start a note app.

00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,633
If you are the girl
or the guy that needs the fancy

00:09:56,633 --> 00:09:59,266
pen in the special journal,
go to Joseph Barth.

00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:02,066
Find your bookseller, get on him
or whatever you need to do and like.

00:10:02,066 --> 00:10:04,600
Order the piece that you need or like.

00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,600
For me, I write a lot, right?

00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:10,700
And so I,
I am now I, I put it a lot in my writing.

00:10:12,033 --> 00:10:12,733
Can you give

00:10:12,733 --> 00:10:15,733
yourself 30 days of asking that question

00:10:16,733 --> 00:10:19,100
and notice how your heart grew?

00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:22,633
Maybe 5%, 5% magic? Absolutely.

00:10:22,633 --> 00:10:24,666
It is like, you know, and it's not

00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:28,733
this has been I've been doing
this practice for over 30 years. Yes.

00:10:28,733 --> 00:10:30,600
And you compound that right to your point.

00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:34,866
Like if it's 5%, 5% times 12 is 60 times

00:10:34,866 --> 00:10:37,900
that times that,
all of a sudden you're 600% stronger.

00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:41,433
That intentional moment
of actually acknowledging

00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:46,833
that's the power right there in your list
every day, like my list for a year was.

00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:50,666
I'm so grateful that I have a cup of warm
tea like that

00:10:50,666 --> 00:10:54,666
made the list all the time because, like,
that's that was what I was in I.

00:10:54,733 --> 00:10:58,433
But I always took that moment
to acknowledge that simple thing right.

00:10:59,166 --> 00:11:02,033
When's the last time
you even acknowledged, like, the breath.

00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:04,000
Yeah.

00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:07,500
Like there's just so much
that we take for granted.

00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:12,333
And I think gratitude brings that back
a little bit into reality of

00:11:13,733 --> 00:11:15,600
yes and yes.

00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:17,300
And okay

00:11:17,300 --> 00:11:20,700
so what's been the like if you can
think of a time in your life personally.

00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:22,933
Right.
That's to the extent you're comfortable.

00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:27,300
What's a time you failed
or how did or how to challenge

00:11:27,933 --> 00:11:32,266
and how did you
how does that make you better stronger,

00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:36,000
and more intentional about who Rachell is?

00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:41,000
Well, I think the,
the best correlation in this moment

00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:44,000
would be to talk about my mom
and her passing.

00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:48,366
She died in 2020, and I have a book
coming out called The Morning Light.

00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:53,866
And it's that and I
that is that whole thing

00:11:53,866 --> 00:11:58,033
is about watching my person die

00:11:58,766 --> 00:12:02,800
and how it invigorated me to live.

00:12:03,066 --> 00:12:06,266
You know, I am so grateful

00:12:06,266 --> 00:12:11,300
that I was here
and I was a witness to that.

00:12:11,533 --> 00:12:17,166
I am so grateful that my mom raised
and loved me to the best of her ability.

00:12:17,166 --> 00:12:19,900
Not not mine, but hers.

00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:22,266
And I love talking about
and distinguishing that.

00:12:22,266 --> 00:12:23,400
I think, you know,

00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,600
I am extremely grateful

00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:30,600
that I was loved by her.

00:12:31,366 --> 00:12:35,066
I'm grateful that I look around
and there's reminders

00:12:35,166 --> 00:12:38,333
in my home,
the sunflower, you know, that, like,

00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:41,333
transports me
back to that moment with her.

00:12:42,133 --> 00:12:44,033
That was a horrible way.

00:12:44,033 --> 00:12:46,400
I mean, she had early onset Alzheimer's.

00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,900
It was a four plus year, you know,

00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:51,900
journey of dying and grieving and,

00:12:52,666 --> 00:12:55,933
Rob, it was one of the most
beautiful experiences

00:12:55,933 --> 00:13:00,633
because grief and dying is part of life.

00:13:00,633 --> 00:13:06,133
And, it expanded in to show me, too,
how closely

00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:11,500
grief and gratitude walk together
and how we we.

00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:16,266
It's easy to live in that space of grief,
in that space of suffering and

00:13:16,266 --> 00:13:22,866
like that poor me, like and I don't want
to live in that space of poor me.

00:13:22,866 --> 00:13:25,500
I want to like shadow that and light,
right?

00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:26,800
Like, I want to love on that.

00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,100
And I want to say, it's
okay, you're not alone.

00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,700
You're going to get through this.

00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:34,300
You know, I, you and I even had
that conversation of like the

00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:37,500
how we choose suffering
like suffering to heart,

00:13:37,633 --> 00:13:40,200
to full human experience.

00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,433
I tell people all the time, like,
if you have a question like,

00:13:42,433 --> 00:13:46,266
I would much rather you shoot me
an email like versus like suffering

00:13:46,266 --> 00:13:50,133
in the unknown of like Google
is going to tell you, right?

00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:53,766
Like,
like that is what community is about.

00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:58,966
It's being being here and it's being able
and willing to offer back.

00:14:00,333 --> 00:14:00,900
Oh, I just I

00:14:00,900 --> 00:14:04,566
mean, I love that and the suffering
we charge the a couple things with your,

00:14:05,266 --> 00:14:09,633
know, the passing of your mother and
and sorry for your for your loss. You.

00:14:09,633 --> 00:14:10,366
Thank you.

00:14:10,366 --> 00:14:11,700
She is one hell of a woman.

00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:15,233
So, I mean, I it's it's
maybe one hell of a one and two.

00:14:15,233 --> 00:14:18,166
I can tell you
things are passed down right there.

00:14:18,166 --> 00:14:18,866
There. Right.

00:14:18,866 --> 00:14:21,900
So what's also passed down, like you said,

00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:25,500
and unintentionally,
most of the time is trauma.

00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:26,300
That's where we learn

00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:29,500
how to hold on to the hold on to suffering
when it's unnecessary

00:14:29,833 --> 00:14:32,533
or have these,
you know, these triggers within us.

00:14:32,533 --> 00:14:35,833
So I guess, like,
how can we do something we talked about?

00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:38,066
How do we,
instead of passing down our trauma,

00:14:38,066 --> 00:14:41,500
which we normally do,
how do we pass that our healing for others

00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:44,133
in the next generation
to not carry that trauma with us?

00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:47,100
Because sometimes we're unaware
of that trauma that we're even carrying?

00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:51,300
I'm not a therapist, but, you know,
I think that there's

00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:55,266
a lot of tools
that we have that create accessibility.

00:14:55,266 --> 00:14:58,766
And I think, you know,
when I have this conversation of

00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:00,900
first, it's I think

00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:04,100
acknowledging it's acknowledging
that you have something

00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:07,833
that's weighing you down and that you want
the story to be different,

00:15:07,833 --> 00:15:11,933
like you have to choose to be ready
and willing to tell a different story.

00:15:12,366 --> 00:15:18,066
And when you're ready to choose something
different, what tools are then available?

00:15:18,066 --> 00:15:21,066
Right.

00:15:22,566 --> 00:15:23,800
That's a key part like that.

00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,400
You said that
I think blocks people a lot, Rachell.

00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:30,900
It's because a lot of the times
people don't want to even I,

00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:34,766
I constantly
look at what I, what my part was.

00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:37,800
I'm not, you know, like in trauma,
not all of it.

00:15:38,533 --> 00:15:40,200
Not all of it.

00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,866
There's a lot of moving parts
and pieces in that.

00:15:42,866 --> 00:15:45,600
Right. And,

00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:49,866
a question that I consistently ask myself
whether it's in trauma,

00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:54,466
whether it's in vision, whether it's in
conversation is what's real,

00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:58,833
you know, like understanding
actually what's real.

00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:01,733
And that is really important.

00:16:01,733 --> 00:16:07,200
And we jump right over that step
and we place blame or we think that

00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:11,100
this person was fully in the wrong
and I didn't do anything wrong. And.

00:16:14,566 --> 00:16:16,566
I think there's a
there's a lot of things to unpack in that.

00:16:16,566 --> 00:16:18,300
And when you say what's real, right.

00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:22,566
I love the reason why I like that
is because our brain plays tricks on us.

00:16:22,933 --> 00:16:24,700
Yeah, studies that show. Right.

00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:28,333
The only thing that's real is right now
the the fully real

00:16:28,333 --> 00:16:32,133
that we can totally comprehend
is, is is the right now

00:16:32,466 --> 00:16:36,400
this is the realest thing we have
because the future hasn't happened.

00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,400
So you, you're, you're you're literally

00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:41,800
making that up in your brain
and the past and studies show

00:16:41,933 --> 00:16:44,200
that people don't remember the past
like they're, they're,

00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:47,466
they're like 90% inaccurate
I think studies around that.

00:16:47,466 --> 00:16:47,700
Right.

00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:51,400
So a lot of the things, even
our most traumatic moments that we think

00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:56,966
we remember in specific detail,
the details we don't actually remember.

00:16:56,966 --> 00:17:01,400
So we're actually living a simulation
in the past or the future,

00:17:01,633 --> 00:17:04,733
unless we choose to stay in the present,
which is what I feel like

00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:06,066
your gratitude is about.

00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:10,200
Yeah, yeah, I just did a strategy session
with somebody and we were talking

00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:14,466
to anxiety and like, anxiety is not it's
lack of presence, right.

00:17:14,466 --> 00:17:21,066
Like it's the it's the worry of and
and if you ask yourself what was real

00:17:21,066 --> 00:17:24,666
when you're worrying does that help
you get a little clearer there.

00:17:24,666 --> 00:17:27,400
You know, when I start to worry,
when I start to think,

00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:31,133
I don't know how it's going to get done,
why me?

00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,500
Why not me? Why her?

00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:37,400
What's real?

00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:38,800
Yeah.

00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:40,100
What's real and what do we.

00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:43,800
And what do we allowing ourselves
to, to weigh us down unnecessarily

00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:45,766
through our own traumas.

00:17:45,766 --> 00:17:47,733
That's been passed down through us and I

00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:50,733
and I think it's your that's
why your work is so important.

00:17:51,433 --> 00:17:55,066
Specifically I want to shift
to actually talking about what you do

00:17:55,566 --> 00:17:58,133
in terms of women. Right.

00:17:58,133 --> 00:17:59,800
Power to pursue

00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:02,866
and and what that is
and what that journey is.

00:18:03,733 --> 00:18:04,900
So I'm grateful grams.

00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:07,733
We open incubator Kitchen Collective
I'll just put that quickly.

00:18:07,733 --> 00:18:08,700
That's our nonprofit.

00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:11,700
It's a shared use commercial kitchen space
for food entrepreneurs.

00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:14,900
I've helped over 200 food
startups here in the region.

00:18:15,366 --> 00:18:16,933
By the way, what made you get into food?

00:18:16,933 --> 00:18:19,733
Like, what was the thing
there before we get up in food?

00:18:19,733 --> 00:18:20,866
Food is in my blood.

00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:24,466
My great grandfather
started a restaurant in the 40s.

00:18:24,933 --> 00:18:26,633
It's where my parents fell in love.

00:18:26,633 --> 00:18:28,066
I have very, very,

00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:32,300
slight memories of sitting in there.

00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,333
I grew up in a house of foodies.

00:18:36,566 --> 00:18:39,566
My mom always,

00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:42,866
there was always.

00:18:42,866 --> 00:18:45,600
I always go back to, like, the,

00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:48,900
seven fish and, like, a loaf of bread and,
like, what is that?

00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:51,400
I can't like the biblical story of,
like, abundance.

00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:51,733
Like that.

00:18:51,733 --> 00:18:54,733
My mom, that was the way she lived.

00:18:56,233 --> 00:18:59,400
I, I also witnessed our house being full

00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:03,300
and her feeding people,
no matter where or who they came.

00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:06,300
Like,
she just. That's how she loved people.

00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:10,566
I always understood that, like, food
is what brings people together.

00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:13,933
And so, like, my purpose and, like,
I feel like my purpose on

00:19:13,933 --> 00:19:17,033
this planet is to spread the message
a gratitude and build community.

00:19:17,033 --> 00:19:22,066
And I when I started working in food,
it's one I was comfortable in it, right?

00:19:22,066 --> 00:19:24,000
Like I knew it. I kind of grew up in it.

00:19:25,766 --> 00:19:28,033
But we were so focused, a lot

00:19:28,033 --> 00:19:31,100
of the stuff so focused on the business,
and I want to focus on the human.

00:19:31,100 --> 00:19:32,133
I feel like if you know that

00:19:32,133 --> 00:19:35,600
when I talk about the incubator, healthy
people build healthy businesses,

00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,766
like, how are we actually supporting
the person behind the business?

00:19:38,766 --> 00:19:41,766
Because if they're strong and feel
confident

00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:44,966
and competent,
they can actually go forward in the work

00:19:45,133 --> 00:19:49,933
versus like what we typically do
is just pile it on exactly how to do more.

00:19:49,933 --> 00:19:50,266
You got it.

00:19:50,266 --> 00:19:51,500
You're not working hard enough.

00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:55,133
Like,
and so I really care about the humans.

00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:57,566
And I do a bunch of other stuff.

00:19:57,566 --> 00:19:59,966
Power to pursue is like,
before you get to Paris,

00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:01,900
you know, quickly, Rachell,
like, the food part.

00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:03,233
I wanna let you know we have a comment.

00:20:03,233 --> 00:20:04,900
We have a lot of common commonality there.

00:20:04,900 --> 00:20:08,100
So, yes,
my grandfather was a chef, actually,

00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:11,066
and he cooked for,

00:20:11,066 --> 00:20:14,000
he cooked for people
during the Great Depression.

00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,566
And then my mom was inspired by that.

00:20:15,566 --> 00:20:18,566
She started a restaurant,
called a taster series.

00:20:18,966 --> 00:20:22,033
Yeah,
it was a Caribbean, style restaurant.

00:20:22,033 --> 00:20:23,033
And so we got to have your friend

00:20:23,033 --> 00:20:27,166
like this cooks back in my family,
you know, on my on my dad's side.

00:20:27,700 --> 00:20:30,766
Really good at barbecue because,
you know, the my great grandfather

00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,300
really kind of mastered how to make ribs.

00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:36,966
So if you didn't know, you may not
you may or may not know this, but

00:20:37,166 --> 00:20:40,633
like, ribs were something that were giving
the slaves and they weren't very good.

00:20:40,733 --> 00:20:41,000
Right.

00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,300
And they but like,

00:20:42,300 --> 00:20:45,566
like black folks often do, we take
what's given to us and make it a delicacy.

00:20:45,566 --> 00:20:46,933
And now that's how people get ribs.

00:20:46,933 --> 00:20:47,400
That's literally

00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,666
something that black culture created
that people probably don't know.

00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,066
But anyway, that's my great.

00:20:52,066 --> 00:20:55,966
So anyway, we have that's a long way
of saying like we have cooks on our side.

00:20:56,166 --> 00:20:57,000
Yeah.

00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:00,900
In my family and we got to have you over
because we definitely share

00:21:00,900 --> 00:21:04,333
that commonality of bringing people
together, cooking with that stuff.

00:21:04,333 --> 00:21:07,666
So I understand what you're saying
and but like, you're right.

00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:12,400
Like, and I, I was in the kitchen today
and, like, I just, I felt so loved,

00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:16,266
like the our people are so like,
that's the power of food, right? And,

00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:18,133
I did

00:21:18,133 --> 00:21:21,333
marketing for a national grocer
for a decade.

00:21:21,333 --> 00:21:26,400
And so, like, just seeing all the aspects
of it, there's this Rachel Bucket

00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:30,200
where I do some speaking
and consulting and strategy work and,

00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:35,100
and then power to pursue and rob power
to pursue.

00:21:35,300 --> 00:21:38,566
There's so many facets to the story
now that we're

00:21:38,966 --> 00:21:41,966
going into our fourth year
of a conference.

00:21:42,466 --> 00:21:46,933
But I was so

00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:51,066
part of me was just so tired of going
into these rooms that were being built

00:21:51,066 --> 00:21:54,900
for women and walking out
feeling like I wasn't good enough.

00:21:55,166 --> 00:21:55,800
Yeah.

00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:59,066
This idea that I had to work harder,
I had to buy this course, or

00:21:59,066 --> 00:22:02,600
I had to take this pill, or I'm too loud
or I'm too fat, or, like, what?

00:22:02,766 --> 00:22:04,666
I mean, what? I've heard it all.

00:22:04,666 --> 00:22:08,766
Yeah, well, I've heard every reason
why I don't belong, right?

00:22:08,866 --> 00:22:11,866
And I didn't believe that.

00:22:11,866 --> 00:22:15,866
And so I was like,
well, I'm not the only one.

00:22:15,866 --> 00:22:20,000
And so what if we created a space
that women could come to,

00:22:20,300 --> 00:22:24,566
where all of them could show up,
and not just the part that was invited?

00:22:27,033 --> 00:22:28,200
Right.

00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:29,333
That's real.

00:22:29,333 --> 00:22:32,333
Many of them could show up
but not just a part that's invited.

00:22:32,333 --> 00:22:34,433
Oh yeah. That's good.

00:22:34,433 --> 00:22:36,466
So that's what it is we've created.

00:22:36,466 --> 00:22:39,766
I say that power to pursue is a women's
empowerment movement.

00:22:39,766 --> 00:22:43,366
And its job is to create a safe space
for women to be seen, heard and loved it.

00:22:43,666 --> 00:22:44,100
Yeah.

00:22:44,100 --> 00:22:46,400
Because again,
it goes back to that foundation.

00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,900
What if we had strong foundation
so that we could actually do the thing?

00:22:49,900 --> 00:22:55,166
And the thing is entrepreneurial,
corporate being a janitor, being the lunch

00:22:55,166 --> 00:22:58,800
lady, being just a stay at home mom,
being a student, like,

00:22:59,766 --> 00:23:02,166
I want all of those hats
and titles to come off

00:23:02,166 --> 00:23:07,333
because I just want you to know
that you belong and that you are worthy

00:23:07,333 --> 00:23:11,166
and that you are loved, and that I'm going
to do everything in my power

00:23:11,333 --> 00:23:12,966
to make sure that you feel that way.

00:23:12,966 --> 00:23:15,033
If you're coming
into something, I'm building,

00:23:16,300 --> 00:23:16,833
what do you

00:23:16,833 --> 00:23:21,000
feel men can do to help further
the cause of women's empowerment?

00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:24,000
What's the role of men
from your perspective?

00:23:24,433 --> 00:23:26,900
You know,

00:23:26,900 --> 00:23:28,300
men often do.

00:23:28,300 --> 00:23:30,866
Just not enough men, you know?

00:23:30,866 --> 00:23:32,900
And I was like, don't bring it on.

00:23:32,900 --> 00:23:35,233
No, no, no, no, I here's the truth.

00:23:35,233 --> 00:23:39,066
For my for me, from my experience,
I've had more men help me succeed

00:23:39,066 --> 00:23:43,333
than I've had a lot of women
because the shift is, is that for women?

00:23:43,333 --> 00:23:46,366
We've been told that competition probably,

00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:50,500
right, that there's one seat at the table
and she wants your seat.

00:23:50,500 --> 00:23:52,533
And so who's going to get the seat?

00:23:52,533 --> 00:23:55,366
My take on that is, ladies,
if you never leave home

00:23:55,366 --> 00:23:57,866
without your chair,
you don't have to worry about that. Right.

00:23:57,866 --> 00:24:02,600
So like, oh, drop the mic till like

00:24:03,233 --> 00:24:06,233
if we don't leave home without our chairs,
we always have a seat.

00:24:06,466 --> 00:24:09,366
And and yes, we can build a longer table

00:24:09,366 --> 00:24:12,366
and we can make a round table
or an, an oval table.

00:24:12,633 --> 00:24:15,633
But like reality is
we've got to sit at that table.

00:24:15,700 --> 00:24:17,466
Absolutely. You know, and so

00:24:18,666 --> 00:24:21,900
being a door opener is really important

00:24:21,966 --> 00:24:25,600
no matter if you're a male or female,
if you know somebody that can help

00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:28,500
the person that you just talk to,
you have an opportunity.

00:24:28,500 --> 00:24:30,500
You can choose in that moment
to take a minute

00:24:30,500 --> 00:24:32,366
and send an email to connect to them.

00:24:32,366 --> 00:24:34,233
Yeah, right.

00:24:34,233 --> 00:24:36,100
I agree with that point
before you get to that,

00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:39,100
because I think this is a really because
you cover something really important.

00:24:39,966 --> 00:24:40,366
What?

00:24:40,366 --> 00:24:44,266
The same thing that you are describing
when it comes to women in the challenge

00:24:44,266 --> 00:24:47,766
is the same struggle
that black folks and other, other,

00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:52,000
other other groups have that are
that have been traditionally marginalized.

00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,700
I still go through these both systemic
and also historical

00:24:54,700 --> 00:24:57,100
and also psychological struggles
that are, that are,

00:24:57,100 --> 00:24:59,400
that are, that are a result
of all those things. Right.

00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:02,966
And so, like, I've,
I've had the same struggles, too,

00:25:02,966 --> 00:25:06,066
because people like, people think
like there's only a room for two of us.

00:25:06,066 --> 00:25:09,300
Like, why that's not I'm
not accepting that narrative.

00:25:09,433 --> 00:25:13,033
At the same time, people do play that
narrative like I've had people play,

00:25:13,666 --> 00:25:14,933
people play that narrative,
and it's there.

00:25:14,933 --> 00:25:15,300
So like,

00:25:15,300 --> 00:25:18,300
I think when you get to, you can go there
because I wanna say this very quickly.

00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,733
I think what the man, what we need to do,
what the first time

00:25:21,733 --> 00:25:24,733
we had this conversation
and I think I wanted to have it publicly,

00:25:25,433 --> 00:25:29,700
the first time I realized
and had a grasp of the importance

00:25:29,700 --> 00:25:31,700
that I played
in terms of women's empowerment.

00:25:31,700 --> 00:25:36,300
Because every man does, every man does
because we all have something

00:25:36,766 --> 00:25:38,100
which is called privilege.

00:25:38,100 --> 00:25:40,500
And that's a
that's a hard word for people to say.

00:25:40,500 --> 00:25:43,400
So I wanted to fight it for people
so they understand what I mean.

00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:46,400
Privilege is not saying
that you didn't have struggle.

00:25:46,633 --> 00:25:49,233
Privileges is about the things
you don't have to go through

00:25:49,233 --> 00:25:52,233
simply because of who you are.

00:25:52,266 --> 00:25:54,833
You're the color
your skin, or that you're male

00:25:54,833 --> 00:25:56,500
or that you're born in America,
for example.

00:25:56,500 --> 00:26:00,900
These are privileges that you didn't that
that you don't have to go through that

00:26:00,900 --> 00:26:01,433
you should be

00:26:01,433 --> 00:26:04,933
grateful for, frankly, because privilege
is not a bad thing in itself.

00:26:05,166 --> 00:26:10,466
Christ is only bad if you're
not aware of it and you abuse it, right?

00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:14,400
Which and so, like I came
to the realization of having the privilege

00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,566
when I was in a
gender in law class because,

00:26:17,933 --> 00:26:21,000
I'm black, I understand racism
because I've been through it.

00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:24,066
I can tell you many stories from police,
anything else and everything else.

00:26:24,066 --> 00:26:27,066
Right? I understand it, it does exist.

00:26:27,066 --> 00:26:29,433
What people believe is real or not
is completely real.

00:26:29,433 --> 00:26:32,200
I don't see it as a limitation,
but it does exist.

00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:33,766
Okay, so there's that.

00:26:33,766 --> 00:26:36,866
But I didn't really fully appreciate,

00:26:37,933 --> 00:26:42,100
my role
in having male privilege until that class

00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:45,366
and someone reversed a question on me
to say, well, like, how are you?

00:26:45,366 --> 00:26:47,733
How are we responsible for all of this?

00:26:47,733 --> 00:26:49,033
This is not that you're responsible.

00:26:49,033 --> 00:26:51,300
You just have to just know
and be aware of it.

00:26:51,300 --> 00:26:52,333
You know how racism works.

00:26:52,333 --> 00:26:54,733
And I'm like,
oh God. Then it clicked for me.

00:26:54,733 --> 00:26:57,000
But, so I do see that.

00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:01,200
And making sure that men just to say
like their role is to make sure we're not

00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:05,300
that we are empowering because we,
we do do things that are probably

00:27:05,300 --> 00:27:09,200
not probably that are unconscious
because it's so systemic for us

00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:14,366
to overexplain to take an idea of a woman
to be willing to have that conversation.

00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,300
I think that's it is not coming.

00:27:16,300 --> 00:27:19,400
And somebody saying, hey,
you had an opportunity

00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,833
in what we do in
the human experience is to shut down.

00:27:22,833 --> 00:27:25,400
I did wrong, they're wrong.
I can't believe.

00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,066
And it's like,
wait a second. No, you're right.

00:27:27,066 --> 00:27:28,900
I could have just opened the door.

00:27:28,900 --> 00:27:32,066
Yeah, exactly. And and so it it

00:27:33,500 --> 00:27:36,566
it's not wrong,
but you have an opportunity to change

00:27:36,566 --> 00:27:39,266
because it is wrong. Right.
Like it is wrong.

00:27:39,266 --> 00:27:41,400
But like it doesn't
mean it's just because.

00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,400
Not intentional
doesn't mean it's is not right.

00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:45,900
How long can we go?

00:27:45,900 --> 00:27:47,233
Well, it wasn't intentional.

00:27:47,233 --> 00:27:49,566
Like, you know, like that's
that's bullshit now, right.

00:27:49,566 --> 00:27:52,733
Like that doesn't work
because that's you just saying

00:27:52,733 --> 00:27:55,266
I'm taking the easy way out
because I don't want to do the work.

00:27:55,266 --> 00:27:58,300
And I think that's interesting because I

00:27:59,266 --> 00:28:04,266
so there is a way for me
and like energetically weight of like

00:28:04,266 --> 00:28:08,833
I am so committed to making sure
if I'm saying if I'm standing on this

00:28:09,300 --> 00:28:12,100
platform and going,
I'm creating a room for all women,

00:28:12,100 --> 00:28:15,466
then by God, I need to make sure
that all women are represented

00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,766
and and we keep growing and pushing that.

00:28:18,766 --> 00:28:20,900
Right. Like and I have

00:28:21,866 --> 00:28:22,733
conversations.

00:28:22,733 --> 00:28:24,600
It's not black and white women. Right.

00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,600
Like there is a whole sea of women
out there.

00:28:27,900 --> 00:28:30,633
Our stages easily set 45

00:28:30,633 --> 00:28:33,633
to 52% in a diverse standpoint.

00:28:34,133 --> 00:28:35,233
I'm really proud of that.

00:28:35,233 --> 00:28:37,066
Not is highly unusual, by the way.

00:28:37,066 --> 00:28:38,333
It's highly unusual.

00:28:38,333 --> 00:28:41,400
And people I will say like,
I don't know how you do that like that.

00:28:41,533 --> 00:28:46,233
And it's not hard when the intention is
this is the job, right?

00:28:46,233 --> 00:28:48,700
And I take that job very seriously.

00:28:48,700 --> 00:28:51,233
I also see that reflected back
in our audience.

00:28:51,233 --> 00:28:54,600
Our audience sits at a 40% easily diverse,

00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:59,966
last year I was at Black Tech Week
and I had two black women come up to me

00:28:59,966 --> 00:29:03,000
and they told me how keen

00:29:03,233 --> 00:29:06,133
they felt in my room. Rob.

00:29:06,133 --> 00:29:07,500
And like, I literally like,

00:29:09,100 --> 00:29:10,166
I hold that

00:29:10,166 --> 00:29:14,466
compliment so high because, like,
that's the work, right?

00:29:14,466 --> 00:29:16,200
Like that means something to me.

00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:18,600
It's not that I'm doing it just to do it.

00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:19,200
I'm doing it

00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:24,766
because I believe that we need it
and that it is accessible to all of us.

00:29:24,766 --> 00:29:25,300
Right.

00:29:25,300 --> 00:29:28,433
And so I'm going to do everything
in my power

00:29:28,900 --> 00:29:33,900
to create that equality
and in the way that I can.

00:29:33,900 --> 00:29:35,700
Right.

00:29:35,700 --> 00:29:38,300
You know, I made up of it to like you.

00:29:38,300 --> 00:29:41,300
I mean, it's
how do you give people advice starter

00:29:41,300 --> 00:29:44,400
up to you like, oh, no, no, what it like?

00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,333
Because there's a lot of people
that struggle with this.

00:29:46,333 --> 00:29:49,333
I just said, that's my advice.

00:29:50,366 --> 00:29:51,466
Okay.

00:29:51,466 --> 00:29:53,566
Thank you.

00:29:53,566 --> 00:29:53,966
Yeah.

00:29:53,966 --> 00:29:56,100
I mean, you know, the ask.

00:29:56,100 --> 00:29:58,000
We are so afraid of asking.

00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,900
And I think that fear of asking
is probably

00:30:00,900 --> 00:30:03,500
because we know what the truth is,
and we don't want to hear it,

00:30:03,500 --> 00:30:06,566
or we don't want someone to say, yeah,
I can help you,

00:30:06,566 --> 00:30:09,566
because then if they can help you,
then you got to do it.

00:30:09,700 --> 00:30:10,333
Yeah.

00:30:10,333 --> 00:30:14,766
You know, I've, I've, I went to
other women and I said, this is my vision.

00:30:14,766 --> 00:30:19,966
I need to ask you not from
I don't want to whitewash anything.

00:30:19,966 --> 00:30:21,266
I don't want it to be white privilege.

00:30:21,266 --> 00:30:23,166
I don't want to not do my homework. Right.

00:30:23,166 --> 00:30:26,800
Because I think that's a lot of the stuff
that black women, it's

00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:30,633
not their job
to tell me how to create space for them.

00:30:30,633 --> 00:30:32,733
It's my job. Right.

00:30:32,733 --> 00:30:33,966
And so I did that.

00:30:33,966 --> 00:30:35,233
I said,

00:30:35,233 --> 00:30:38,633
you know, I tell people a lot of the times
my job with power to pursue is mainly

00:30:38,633 --> 00:30:39,566
just listening.

00:30:41,966 --> 00:30:43,800
Because if I listen,

00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:48,766
then I hear what our community is seeking
and the whole community.

00:30:48,766 --> 00:30:49,200
Right.

00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,466
Like there's a common thread here,

00:30:51,466 --> 00:30:54,866
and all I want to do is listen and be able
to pull the common thread.

00:30:55,433 --> 00:31:00,166
And so you guys, the most one of the most
powerful assets you have is your voice.

00:31:00,166 --> 00:31:03,166
And and that voice is the ask.

00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:06,600
And so if something's holding you back
not it's not the asset

00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:07,466
that's holding you back.

00:31:07,466 --> 00:31:09,633
It's actually
your lack of belief in yourself.

00:31:09,633 --> 00:31:12,733
The lack of belief that you belong
or that you don't feel worthy or that

00:31:13,066 --> 00:31:16,033
you know, I struggled with my size,
or the fact that I didn't

00:31:16,033 --> 00:31:19,866
have this degree for years of like,
that's what I was told.

00:31:19,866 --> 00:31:22,666
I was told I didn't have
I didn't have what it takes.

00:31:22,666 --> 00:31:26,566
And now I'm like,
wait, I don't believe that.

00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:29,766
Yeah.

00:31:29,766 --> 00:31:30,066
All right.

00:31:30,066 --> 00:31:32,766
So like you, because you kind of went back
to what you believe earlier.

00:31:32,766 --> 00:31:34,333
So I will have some rapid fire questions.

00:31:34,333 --> 00:31:35,833
What aligns with that one?

00:31:35,833 --> 00:31:39,400
What advice would you give your younger
self and what advice would you ignore?

00:31:42,100 --> 00:31:44,700
Or advice for your younger self?

00:31:44,700 --> 00:31:48,133
And I joke all the time Nike
was really on to it, but like just do it.

00:31:48,133 --> 00:31:50,766
I think that,

00:31:50,766 --> 00:31:53,200
my younger self,
I think a lot of our younger

00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,933
selves
needs that reminder that we do belong.

00:31:55,933 --> 00:31:57,666
And so

00:31:57,666 --> 00:32:00,800
however, you find that if it's a mantra,

00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,800
if it's writing it on a page,
like whatever, but

00:32:04,500 --> 00:32:07,500
and then not taking, you know, Rob,

00:32:09,733 --> 00:32:11,300
as hard as some of the decisions

00:32:11,300 --> 00:32:14,466
I made and the experiences
I went through, everything

00:32:15,466 --> 00:32:16,900
was beautiful at the end of it.

00:32:16,900 --> 00:32:19,900
So I don't know that
there's anything I would, you know,

00:32:20,300 --> 00:32:23,300
don't lie to be a liar,

00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:25,033
a lie.

00:32:25,033 --> 00:32:28,033
She would ignore.

00:32:32,833 --> 00:32:33,166
Yeah.

00:32:33,166 --> 00:32:36,166
Everybody that.

00:32:36,333 --> 00:32:39,033
The people that don't believe in you.

00:32:39,033 --> 00:32:39,233
Yeah.

00:32:39,233 --> 00:32:42,233
So ignore all of them. I agree.

00:32:42,466 --> 00:32:44,200
I mean,

00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:44,833
I'm with you.

00:32:44,833 --> 00:32:46,933
I mean, yes, define yourself for yourself.

00:32:46,933 --> 00:32:47,500
By yourself.

00:32:47,500 --> 00:32:47,800
That's.

00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:50,800
Yeah, that's what Mama Richardson says.

00:32:51,266 --> 00:32:54,766
What's an important truth
you have that very few people

00:32:54,766 --> 00:32:57,766
agree with you on?

00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:02,666
So when we were talk,
we talked a little bit about this and I.

00:33:02,666 --> 00:33:06,600
And I was like,
oh, that's a stumper for me and you.

00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:08,466
Then we started talking
about this idea of suffering,

00:33:08,466 --> 00:33:10,733
and you're like, rage,
like you're kind of right.

00:33:10,733 --> 00:33:15,366
And I think that it's taking back control
over what you're choosing.

00:33:15,366 --> 00:33:17,000
And suffering is something,

00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:20,000
you know, like we want to place
blame on all these outside things. And,

00:33:22,500 --> 00:33:23,866
I've had some

00:33:23,866 --> 00:33:26,833
we call them big T traumas
and little T traumas,

00:33:26,833 --> 00:33:29,833
like I've had both.

00:33:30,566 --> 00:33:35,700
And it goes back to that asking,
I think, again,

00:33:35,900 --> 00:33:40,500
this idea that we're not
we're not in control of it all.

00:33:41,066 --> 00:33:43,400
I don't believe that.
That's not what I'm saying.

00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:48,133
What I'm saying is, is that
I think we have a lot more participation

00:33:48,133 --> 00:33:51,900
in our suffering than we allow to believe.

00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,133
That's a, that's
a, that's a profound state.

00:33:55,133 --> 00:33:56,566
That's definitely a good one.

00:33:56,566 --> 00:33:59,633
And I want people to suffer

00:33:59,633 --> 00:34:03,966
less everything I've ever built
has to has talked

00:34:03,966 --> 00:34:09,266
about the idea
and the ability to choose to suffer less.

00:34:09,700 --> 00:34:12,300
And so for me
that's my practice of gratitude.

00:34:12,300 --> 00:34:14,333
That's no matter what I've gone through.

00:34:14,333 --> 00:34:16,266
It's saying
I'm going to put light on this.

00:34:16,266 --> 00:34:19,166
I'm going to shine the light
like it doesn't.

00:34:19,166 --> 00:34:21,733
I can't have it this dark.

00:34:22,733 --> 00:34:23,433
Yeah. No.

00:34:23,433 --> 00:34:24,666
That's good.

00:34:24,666 --> 00:34:27,733
You have a committee of three,
living or dead, to advise you on business.

00:34:27,733 --> 00:34:30,733
Like I. It's because I'm the worst.

00:34:30,733 --> 00:34:33,466
Who are these people? Yeah,

00:34:33,466 --> 00:34:34,600
and we show up.

00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:37,600
So you love everybody,
but you got to choose three.

00:34:37,833 --> 00:34:39,100
That's why you hate it.
Because you know what?

00:34:39,100 --> 00:34:40,666
You want it. It's people.
You know what I leave out?

00:34:40,666 --> 00:34:41,133
Yeah.

00:34:41,133 --> 00:34:45,166
And like, I'm so bad with, like,
who cool people are because I,

00:34:45,166 --> 00:34:48,166
like, live in such this bubble of,

00:34:49,666 --> 00:34:50,900
it doesn't have to be people,
you know, personally.

00:34:50,900 --> 00:34:51,466
It could be.

00:34:51,466 --> 00:34:52,466
It could be anybody.

00:34:52,466 --> 00:34:53,833
Okay, okay, okay.

00:34:53,833 --> 00:34:56,700
And I have these in prep, and I was like,
he's not going to ask me that one.

00:34:56,700 --> 00:34:58,300
So I didn't even think about this one.

00:35:00,733 --> 00:35:01,566
I joke all the

00:35:01,566 --> 00:35:04,666
time that I want to I'm like, goal
of being a roper.

00:35:04,666 --> 00:35:05,266
All right.

00:35:05,266 --> 00:35:08,766
So like, I think I'd have to invite Oprah
to like how that's,

00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,800
you know,

00:35:12,233 --> 00:35:15,233
a moment with,

00:35:16,500 --> 00:35:17,100
you know.

00:35:17,100 --> 00:35:19,733
Oh, my God. Look, I'm sorry, you did read.

00:35:19,733 --> 00:35:22,733
I'm like,
I'm not going to remember anyone's name.

00:35:25,633 --> 00:35:26,433
Do you have another one?

00:35:26,433 --> 00:35:29,300
I'll come back to that.
All right, all right. We'll skip that one.

00:35:29,300 --> 00:35:31,000
All right.
So we'll just put that in the notes there.

00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:31,300
All right.

00:35:31,300 --> 00:35:36,066
Let's see what's a personal motto
or life slogan that saved you.

00:35:37,066 --> 00:35:41,100
Well, I mean, you know what
I'm grateful for, right?

00:35:41,100 --> 00:35:43,366
Like, yeah,

00:35:43,366 --> 00:35:46,100
anything's possible.

00:35:46,100 --> 00:35:46,533
Yeah.

00:35:46,533 --> 00:35:51,933
And what's real like those 3 or 3
that I sit with every single day?

00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:53,666
Yeah.

00:35:53,666 --> 00:35:54,466
Every single day.

00:35:54,466 --> 00:35:57,466
Those questions come into my orbit
somehow.

00:35:57,700 --> 00:35:58,000
Yeah.

00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,500
Well, yeah,
we have a lot to be grateful for.

00:36:00,500 --> 00:36:02,533
I know we as a region
have a lot to be grateful for,

00:36:02,533 --> 00:36:03,133
that you're here

00:36:03,133 --> 00:36:07,000
and looking forward to seeing all that
you build with the Gratitude Collective

00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:10,033
and all the differences that you make in
so many people's lives.

00:36:10,033 --> 00:36:13,400
And, you know,
thank you for your support of Midwest Con.

00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:15,233
I look forward to your practices here.

00:36:15,233 --> 00:36:16,533
Yeah, it's been great.

00:36:16,533 --> 00:36:19,233
I had so much fun moderating that panel.

00:36:19,233 --> 00:36:20,666
Yeah, well,
we're going to do empower her again.

00:36:20,666 --> 00:36:21,866
We're going to have you on there again.

00:36:21,866 --> 00:36:25,266
So, Rachell,
Dorota, it's been a pleasure as always.

00:36:25,533 --> 00:36:26,666
Always great talking to you.

00:36:26,666 --> 00:36:29,866
And we're going to have you over
for dinner to deal I'm holding to it.

00:36:29,866 --> 00:36:32,566
Thanks so much for
having me. Thanks so much.